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27 Messes Investigates: Bachelorette Parties

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“It is customary for all the ladies who accompany the bride on her bachelorette outing to dress like the Olsen twins circa the ‘I am the cute one’ days.”

Bachelorette Parties. Crazy fun or just plain crazy?
We find out on this edition of 27messes Investigates…

We sent our team deep into the seedy underbelly of three different bachelorette parties to see what exactly goes on at these no-boys-allowed “last flings before the rings.” What we uncovered…truly shocking. And scandalous. And wild. And outrageous. And unfettering. Synonyms for daring, ok?

Credit: bachelorettesuperstore.comCostuming: It is customary for all the ladies who accompany the bride on her bachelorette outing to dress like the Olsen twins circa the “I am the cute one” days.  Sometimes it’s not enough that you have to wear the same thing as 7 other girls at the wedding so you clearly need to do it another time. Some bachelorette parties wear all black and the bachelorette wears white. Some order customized t-shirts that will inevitably end up in their gym shirt collection. Whatever the outfit of choice, it is imperative that the bride stand out and the other girls look identical so everyone knows they are a part of the same group like those teen tourist groups at Walt Disney World. Surprisingly, some girls still manage to get lost.

Games: Just like the bridal shower, a bachelorette party must have multiple games. A favorite is “Pin the penis on the hunk” where laughter ensues when someone misses the target and the penis ends up on the hunk’s nose like Snuffaluffagus. Another game is a version of truth or dare where the bride has to complete a series of dare cards for which she receives points. Nevermind that the points don’t get you anything—you just have to get them and you have to get as many as possible.  Pinch a guy’s bottom and tell him he has a nice butt gets you 50 points. For a coveted 100 points, you must get the bartender to give you a free drink or take a picture with a married man! A whopping 25 points are yours for getting the bouncer to laugh at something and doing a shot with a blond man.  Wow this is beginning to resemble an episode of XXX Girls Gone Wild. The groom-to-be’s bachelor party is probably paling in comparison!

Credit: Photostock

Competing Brides: Inevitably, there are always other bachelorettes at the same hotspot. Some bachelorette parties tell their bride that the other brides are ugly and then pull a Tanya Harding and take out knees. There can only be one girl in a blinking crown and sash in this bar! Others make best friends and hold hands with the other groups and form a bachelorette supergroup like Velvet Revolver. Kumbayah.

“Inevitably, there are always other bachelorettes at the same hotspot. Some bachelorette parties tell their bride that the other brides are ugly and then pull a Tanya Harding and take out knees.”

What else did we learn from our investigation? Ring pops, while usually purchased for a fun accessory, are actually quite delicious, especially the blue raspberry flavor. Also, the event is not a success unless there is vomit involved. And finally, the best bachelorette parties are the ones where the bride’s last hurrah is just plain fun and memorable.

Rachel Sprecher
Bridesmaiding.com contributor

http://27messes.com/

Follow Rachel on Twitter at @27messes

Bridesmaiding.com Note: Please note the amazing dry humor in this piece and know that we here at Bridesmaiding think that not all Bachelorette parties have to suck. Find some laid back options here!

2 thoughts on “27 Messes Investigates: Bachelorette Parties

  1. Pingback: Fame! I’m gonna blog forever! « 27messes

  2. Sarah Briggs

    Yikes. This entire post just wreaks of a desparate and sad person that likely has massive self-confidence problems and little to no shot at having her own bachelorette party. As a future bride, I can happily say that I have no one like Miss Sprecher in my wedding party.

    Reply

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